Two Beers Are For Pussies: Why You Need To Crush A 12-Pack To Be A Real Man

In today's society, there is a lot of pressure on men to be manly. We're told that we need to be strong, tough, and able to handle anything that life throws our way. But what does it really mean to be a man?

Some people might say that being manly means being able to support your family or get a girlfriend. Well sorry to break it to you but that's not how to become a man. If you want to be a real man listen up.

Are you hanging with the boys and only drinking two beers then tapping out? Are you talking about having to drive responsibly? Well guess what you're a pussy and your friends know it!

You're friends, if you have any are being men, crushing brews and fucking chicks. This is something you are definitely not doing. You're a loser who never gets invited to the night parties. You're voice never gets heard on the group chat. Women disrespect you and don't fuck you!!!

So why is it that two beers are never enough?

Let's be honest, beer is delicious. It's cold, refreshing, and has a nice buzz to it. It's hard to stop at just two beers when they're so tasty.

The real reason why two beers are never enough is because real men are hammered 24/7. We are alphas that work too fucking hard to not drink. We dominate the work force with strategies such as Manipulation, Gas lighting, Mansplaining, Big Manning, and Honey Dicking.

Men are able to handle their alcohol, and anything less than a 12-pack is a sign of weakness.

If you want to cut yourself off at 2 beers go home! You're half a man. Drive home look yourself in the mirror, turn in your man card, then go cuddle up and submit to your girlfriend who pays the rent. You're not a man and never will be.

If you want to be a real man who is looked as an alpha, dominates the work force and drives over electric cars then go grab a 12 pack or even better a 30 rack. Sit it down and start chugging because 2 beers is never enough. Watch as you slowly become invited back to the parties, and women start letting you fuck!